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Stay-at-Home Panda

Stay-at-Home Panda

An adventure of triumphs and troubles as a mother, wife, and woman

Getting Out With Two in Just 22 Easy Steps

The following is a guest post by Molly Young of Redeeming the Day

What’s crazier, staying home all day with your kids, or trying to get out of the house with them? Obviously Target therapy will be necessary, and so will be toting them, so follow these steps to get out the door:

Step 1| Get Yourself Dressed.
Not as easy as it sounds. One kid cries for attention, while the other wastes NO TIME on starting her daily tasks— she’s elbow deep in dresser drawers pulling out clothes, next she’ll be trying on all shoes in the closet. Unless you want your room to look like a jungle just grab the yoga pants. Let’s go.

Step 2| Tackle the Toddler with Clothes.
The key is to lure them in with a snack or a toy. Then, if it feels like you’re wrestling a crocodile, well you’re doing something right.

Step 3| Dress the baby.
If you thought wrestling a crocodile was hard, bending and folding those little hands to fit them into those arms holes, ugh! And why do they always make the head-hole so tiny? Poor babies.

Step 4| Stock the Diaper Bag.
The mom rule is: If it doesn’t feel like you packed the entire house then you’re probably missing something. That bag better be overflowing!

Step 5| Pack Snacks.
Every toddler mom’s secret weapon. Getting fussy? Have a snack. Whining? Have a snack. Tantrum? Have a snack. Bored? Have a snack. Aw, you’re tired? Have a snack.

Step 6| Sippy Cup.
Gotta keep them hydrated, just so they can keep filling up those diapers. What would we do all day if we didn’t have diapers to change? Read a book? Sip on a hot latte? Brush our hair? SNAP OUT OF IT and get on to the next step!

Step 7| Check diapers ONE MORE TIME for poop, just in case.
95% of the time one of my kids has pooped while walking out the door. 

Step 8| Change pooped diaper.
Yup. Told ya.

Step 9| Zone out for a second.
Mom life is not complete without zoning once in a while. You know– when you were about to do something but have no idea what it was. Awful.

Step 10| Start the car to get the air/ heat running.
Unless you want your kids to melt, you might want to blast the air in Florida, even in the “winter.”

Step 11| Load the walking one into the car first, strap them down.
We’ll just say this one is for safety reasons.

Step 12| Load the littlest one next.
One of them is probably crying/ fussing by now so SPEED through the next 10 steps.

Step 13| Run back into the house for the diaper bag.

Step 14| Run back into the house for your water bottle.

Step 15| Run back into the house for the grocery list.
Your memory is not so good these days.

Step 16| Go pee.
Peeing NOW is a good idea because: 1. Your bladder is not as strong as it used to be. 2. Attempting this mission in public places is not ideal–toddlers always touch the nasty things & love peeking under stalls & you probably shouldn’t ask a stranger to hold the baby. 3. They are BOTH strapped down right now so they cannot come bother you… pee alone, in silence.

Step 17| Load the stroller.
Who wants to chase a toddler while balancing a baby and diaper bag? Not me!

Step 18| Lock up the house & jump in the car.

Step 19| Oh but… Turn off the car and run back in the house for your shoes.
There’s always something forgotten—shoes, sunglasses, coffee, wallet, your clothes…

Step 20| Lock the front door.

Step 21| Start the car again.

Step 22| Hand Toddler a snack before taking off.
If he’s not grumpy or bored yet, oh he will be.

Vroom! Vroom! You made it, you’re ready to go. Hope wherever you’re going is worth it! Ha ha ha.

Now you know why moms of multiples spend so much time at home.

This piece was originally published at redeemingtheday.com

About Molly Young

Molly is a coffee-drinking, Jesus-following, husband-loving, stay-at-home mommy to three little girls. When she can, she writes about it all at Redeeming the Day.

1 Comment

  • MaeMae says:

    How about in the car have a cheaper version of EVERYTHING, a small diaper bag , just wipes and a few diapers, cheap flip flops, a giant ziplock, with cheap brush, cheap small wipes, small tissue holder, A change of clothes that are the UGGG stuff but a god send when someone has an accident, Always have a light weight jacket because even in the summer and they crank those AC’s up , we can all freeze..Oh.. and bags to throw up in…laugh…if u do , you have never been there….Oh and I personally would have a super small ibuprofen container in my purse for both iddles and US…. No you can’t drag it around, but knowing it’s in the trunk as a run to is awsome, I have one from bungie cords, paper towels, tissues, extra motor oil, lotion.. We bad..we bad.. GREAT POST Mamacita

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